Could the Duchess' Ambition and Push for "Gender Equality" Affect her Marriage to Harry Duke of Sussex?

Meghan May be Making a Typical Feminist-Wife Mistake With Harry! 

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex is ambitious. Unapologetically. As a girl, I admire her for that. I wish I could be more like her in many ways. But I do wonder how all this gender equality and ambition talk translates in her marriage behind closed doors. 

 The thing is, Meghan is a female human living in a situation that has been constructed for millennia. In this construct, men have always ruled. There are exceptions, but for most scenarios, men have always been in charge of the power structures in every society. They call this "manhood." This is a very real phenomenon! It is wired in, Meghan! It is not their fault! It is never going to change!

Listen to me my little sister: In a marriage, (by the way, I have never been married so take this with a grain of salt, if at all) women have always sought "equality" and some men have said they are open to the notion. The thing I worry about is that while men have said they are open to this notion and while many men are well-meaning and may genuinely think women should have equality in marriage, in practice, it just isn't what really plays out.

It is in the wiring. I really think it is nature, not nurture. Others believe it is conditioning. They think if we conditioned boys differently, then they will see women as equal. I have lived long enough to realize though, that this is never going to happen! There are fundamental natural differences between men and women. This is the penis and the vagina.  And don't shoot the messenger because it is not I who have made these rules.

To achieve equality, we are literally going to have to go in and give both a penis and a vagina to every human person. If we can do that, we can achieve gender equality between men and women in society, and in marriage. If we cannot do it, it will never be achieved!

Why does this even matter? It matters because some women think they will be the ones to change the fundamental wiring of their husbands. They just miss the cues. They are oblivious or determined, or both. And so they bring their well-meaning "equality" mood into their marriages. And they are completely right that men and women are equal and should be equal and their husbands may very well agree on a deep level.

But at the most fundamental level, he feels slightly threatened. And he doesn't admit it. He does not tell his wife. And so she goes further and further with this, thinking that her partner is on board and agrees. And then one day, he wakes up, and out of the blue, he asks for a divorce. And she is blindsided. She has no idea what the fuck just happened. She feels betrayed. She is angry. And he moves on with a more..."subservient" woman who does not challenge his manhood in this way that he cannot even explain.

So, for Meghan Duchess of Sussex, for all her public talks about "ambition" and "gender equality" I just wanna say that I hope to god behind the scenes she is a total hypocrite and she gives the edge to her husband and lets him feel he is just a little bit (or maybe a lot) more than she is. Yes, she makes herself "smaller." But not in a way that kills her spirit and soul. In a way that is strategic for a woman who wants to hang on to her husband for the long term. This is exactly why I told her to look at Camilla. For all her faults, where men are concerned, Camilla is a brilliant woman. This is why she is Queen Consort of England. Say what you want about Camilla Parker Bowles and how she got to the top of the hierarchy but she knew exactly how to play Charles like a piano. And she did not do it by being a "feminist" demanding "gender equality." I hate to be the heavy and say it but it's true. To an extent, Kate has done the same with William. This is strategic. Meghan is going to have be make herself smaller than Harry if this marriage is to succeed. 

I hate to say it. But I was a divorce lawyer in my past life. And I know what I am talking about with this. Meghan is going to have to make a choice between being a warrior for gender equality and ambition, or hanging on to her husband till death do them part. It is as simple as that. She can fight that all she wants and insist about how things should be. But I'm just telling her, she has to choose between succeeding with her goal of equality and succeeding with her marriage to this husband of hers. And it DOES. NOT. MATTER. WHAT. HE. SAYS. HE. STANDS. FOR. ON. THIS. ISSUE. This is a very complex issue. These men like Harry don't even know how to articulate their deepest most fundamental views on this. It's like asking him to explain why his erection function matters. Or something.

 As far as I'm concerned, no woman should ever believe a man who tells her that he believes in gender equality in a marriage. It's not true. He wants to believe in it. But in the end, he wants to be the man.  And what that means is that she needs to be the woman. And what that means is that penis and vagina are not equal.

Everything I've said is said with love for Meghan. I want her marriage to succeed.

Image credit flickr creative commons