BE QUIET, MEGHAN!
If we could advise Meghan, Duchess of Sussex about how to survive this improbable journey she has been on for the past 5 years or so with the British Royal Family and the global press, we would tell her to be QUIET and look at all the videos she can find about Queen Consort Camilla, née Camilla Shand Parker Bowles.
Camilla is a textbook case of survival against all odds by someone who entered the British Royal family and was loathed and derided for years by the British people and the press. After years of being the most hated woman in England, Camilla who strategized and held fast is now the fucking queen of this same country, and people LOVE her for it.
Meghan will probably never be loved as much as Camilla. But if she is clever, she can definitely turn around the situation to a point where it is completely livable and palatable for her. She has to remember she is being hazed and roasted as have many before her, including Princess Diana, Camilla Parker Bowles, and Sarah Ferguson. How did these women survive? How did Camilla survive and thrive? Meghan needs to quietly look at that from different angles and draw her own conclusions.
The conclusions we have drawn would require Meghan to:
1. Make most of her money through investing and other indirect means and say less in public
Camilla Parker Bowles was very, very discreet. She did not say much in public and while she clearly is loaded, no one knows how she actually makes her money. Meghan does not have this luxury because she is different, is viewed differently, and lives in different times than Camilla did. For example, social media was not a thing when Camilla was making her rounds. And let's face it: Camilla is British and she is caucasian and she has more of a link and nexus to England than Meghan ever will. She is one of them. But it does not mean that Meghan cannot selectively use some of Camilla's strategies to secure her own survival.
We all understand that Meghan and Harry need to work to avoid ending up on the welfare rolls. We also know they have signed deals with Netflix and Spotify. These deals require Meghan in particular to be out there talking and making appearances and so forth. This is not a great situation to be in. Camilla was not a huge public person. She did not do podcasts and appear on Jimmy Kimmel Live. It is true that Meghan is a Hollywood girl with a royal connection (a royalebrity) so it is unreasonable and unrealistic to expect her to give up her fan base and publicity and go sit behind a wall. People will forget about her and she will not earn an income which creates another problem. But she is going to have to find a good balance of how can she make money while staying out of the public eye as much as possible.
A. She can, for example, create a real estate investment firm where she and Harry, through a company, buy homes and flip them. (They should get good advice so that they don't lose their money!)
B. She can do collaborations with well-researched and well-curated brands (and give back a significant portion to disadvantaged people). She has to be careful about being accused of environmental misdeeds, sweatshops, and things like that. But it can be done while keeping her somewhat out of the public.
C. She can invest in the stock market.
D. She can be a venture capitalist.
2. Do not give sit-down interviews
Meghan should avoid giving sit-down interviews even with her so-called "friends" like Oprah, Ellen, and their ilk. These interviews do not harm anyone but Meghan. Camilla Parker Bowles gave very few and far between interviews - especially in the early years of her marriage while they were still trying to sort things out. This was smart. Meghan should look and learn from Camilla.
3. Use third-party interlocutors
Omid Scobie and other third-party interlocutors who are trustworthy and capable should be used more and more to speak on behalf of the Duchess. She needs to distance herself as much as possible and when she does speak, it should be hugely anticipated, well prepared, positively received, and memorable. And always with a smiling face.
4. Get a second home in a quiet state like Wyoming or Colorado
Camilla Parker Bowles always had a house where she could get away from it all, even from Charles. It is good, sometimes, for your spouse to miss you a little bit. The couple has a home in England as well. So if they cannot afford another place in the U.S. in endroits like Wyoming or Colorado they can just go to England more often, but quietly. They should put their English cottage Frogmore to more use. They can be there quietly without any press and fanfare or anyone knowing until they are leaving that they were in town. Sometimes, Meghan and the kids can be there while Harry is doing something else in Europe. Sometimes Harry can be there alone while Meghan and the kids are in California. Sometimes they can be there together as a family. An odd picture of the family frolicking at Frogmore is good PR, by the way. Because like Camilla, it is Meghan's job to win over the British people. It is not their job to win her over. So they should probably do more quiet, low-key visits to Frogmore and the public and press should never be tipped off unless it is absolutely necessary.
5. Embrace a stay-at-home mom supportive wife mindset
Camilla married King Charles III when he was Prince Charles when she was 57 years old! Think about that. Before that, she had been a country housewife to a military man. This is obviously not Meghan's bio. But she can still learn from Camilla. Meghan's natural personality and inclination is not to be sitting at home doing dishes and standing by her man. She is an independent woman who has a lot of ideas of her own.
But you know what? If she can figure out how to tame that, it might be better for her marriage in the long run. Let Harry be the one at the forefront. Happîly do it, without resentment. Really see the wisdom and value to her marriage by being the supportive spouse, even if it means there is a little bit of "inequality" in the marriage.
Harry is a guy who was born into a peculiar situation where he and his family are used to being the star and being applauded. They want to be, and need to be, the most loved, and most famous, in their marital unions; and when that is challenged, there goes the marriage. Princess Diana is a case in point. No matter what Meghan may think about Harry, he is no different from the rest of his family. He wants adoration. He wants to be the star. Deep down, he wants to be King.
All Meghan has to do, is let him be King. Be the supportive wife. Walk a few inches behind him. Spur him on. Encourage him. Applaud him. Tell him that he is King. Show him that he is King and that she is happy to be his supportive wife. That is what Camilla did. And in doing that, Camilla became the boss of her husband, paradoxically. It is a trick. But it is what Meghan needs to understand, and to do, to hold on to her husband for the long haul. This is what Camilla did.
6. Consciously take long time outs from public view (let them long to see you)
7. Don't respond when baited
So many haters, so little time. Meghan has so far done a pretty good job in this regard. Just be silent, dignified, and indifferent. That is the key: INDIFFERENCE. Understand that they are baiting her because they want to see her and hear her. It is a perverse type of admiration. They like to see her and hear her. But they turn it into something negative in their minds because they hate themselves for thinking she is fascinating. Camilla did not respond to baiters and haters. Now they love her. Meghan needs to look and learn from Camilla.
8. Have a sense of humor come what may
Having a sense of humor does not mean laughing comically or being a clown. But she needs to be indifferent to the baiting and smile in the face of hatred. Camilla apparently has a very self-deprecating sense of humor. Maybe Meghan could learn not to take herself and this situation so seriously. It is a game. She just needs to play it while being anti-fragile and having a sense of humor.
9. Nurture their marriage behind the scenes
Whatever she does, Meghan needs to take care of business behind the scenes. She cannot slip up on nurturing her marriage with her husband, Prince Harry Duke of Sussex. Yes, most of the work in this regard will be on Meghan's shoulders, as it is for most women. Nature made it so. She just has to accept that her role is that of nurturer and she has to make sure that her husband feels supported and that he remains happy. Camilla was excellent at this, by the way.
10. Don't be too fabulous too often
People typically cannot handle too much fabulousness unless they are the ones being fabulous. In Meghan's situation, everybody wants to see this style icon but the same people will hate her for being so iconic. It is a balance that is well struck if she edits how often she is seen in public so that when she is seen, it is so highly anticipated, that people are just thrilled with whatever fabulousness she exudes. Camilla was never considered "fabulous" although lately, she has been looking quite fabulous. It was a game. She was just biding her time before she peacocked. Look and learn, Meghan.
11. Play a long game
This point needs no elaboration. Meghan has to be in it for the long haul. She needs to be as quiet as she can be under the circumstances (strategy is key) and she needs to surround herself with people who are in long-term relationships - even if only through books and YouTube videos. She needs to understand the science of what makes a relationship last decades while others crack up in a matter of months. She can't just focus on what is happening right this minute. That is obviously very important, but she needs to plan and strategize for the future. When she talks to her husband, her words should also convey the long term and the long game. Ditto for her relationship with the public. She has to remember she is in it for the long haul, like Camilla.
Image credit by flickr creative commons public domain license and attribution for the photo of Camilla:
Royal Tour 2014 | Day 2 of the Royal Visit to Canada - Halif… | Korona Lacasse | Flickr
Comments
Post a Comment