Are Meghan and Harry Happy?

 

I woke up this morning thinking about Harry and Meghan and I wondered to myself, "are they happy"?

And the answer that came back to me is "would you be in this situation?"

I pondered that for a long while. Would I be happy in their place? I tell you what, I am a sensitive human. I probably would feel hurt by a lot of what has been going on with Meghan and Harry if I were in their shoes. 

On the one hand, they are two people who love each other. And I have always heard that love conquers all. Meghan has said, "love wins." At the end of the day, I believe that to be true. Love is very complex while at the same time, it is very simple. Love does not necessarily mean that you are happy with the person all the time or that you are happy every day of your life with the person. Love suffers a lot.  Love cries a lot. Love shouts and screams, and has a few too many glasses of wine sometimes. Love hates. You can love someone and hate them at the same time. Which is curious, because could that mean that some of Meghan's haters actually "love" her?

Hmmm...that's a tough one....

 Love finds patience where, under normal circumstances, patience would have been long exceeded. While love gets angry sometimes, it takes a lot for love to get really angry. So love is not angry all the time. If a person is always angry with another person they claim to love, this is not love. 

A lot of Meghan's haters, if not all of them, turned on her very quickly. It's almost as if they gave her ONE chance. And she "mucked" up in their estimation, and they turned on her viciously. That is not love. Loves gives many many chances. Love is patient. So these people who say they loved Meghan when she first arrived and went to those parades are not telling the truth even to themselves. They did go to the parades. But was it love? Or curiosity? Because the two are very different. Again, when you love someone, you give them every possible chance and opportunity. You forgive and forgive and forgive till they get it right...Love endures. Love bears all.

Now, this post is not about "love," however. It is about happiness. The question is, are Meghan and Harry "happy" in the marriage? Well, I do think that Meghan and Harry love each other deeply. At least, I hope and pray. But are they happy? Well, I think that their marriage is under strain. Under normal circumstances, anyone in their position would be under strain. And their position is not experienced by the average person in society. So that level of strain is really, really high.  Sometimes, even love is not enough to handle a certain level of strain. And love certainly can't keep you from feeling unhappiness or depression in other aspects of your life.

There is a lot of negativity surrounding Meghan and Harry in the media, and also from the royal palace and palace courtiers. All media, not just the Daily Mail and those established ones. Social media is truly an awful space right now for the Duke and Duchess. When I turn on YouTube, for example, it is very rare that I find a channel that is pro-Meghan and Harry. I would say that 99 percent of the channels with over 1000 followers are toxic towards Meghan and Harry. And with established media, the loudest ones are coming out of England and Australia and those are putrid. The occasional positive stories about Meghan come out of the US but largely the US media has taken a spectator approach to the Duke and Duchess.

So it is a lot of vitriol on a daily basis directed at these two humans. In their place, if I exposed myself to even half of this, there is no possible way that I could be happy. Naturally, this is the whole objective. The objective is to make them so unhappy, that not even love can save them, and so their marriage busts apart at the seams.

Meghan and Harry are not ordinary humans, though. So maybe they have techniques and strategies to help them mitigate these attacks. They have probably built up an invisible fortress around them that protects them from the emotional injuries they normally would be experiencing. I certainly hope this is the case because if not, then they are in trouble and their marriage could be at risk.

What the heck should I advise them to do in this situation? Jesus, I don't know:

For their mental health I advise:

1. Do not consume these media. Or consume very little of it.

 Indeed, even I mute most of these media. When I go onto a channel that is spewing hatred towards Harry and Meghan (usually it is towards Meghan) I mute them immediately and leave a comment anyways. Sometimes my comment could be non-responsive and I love that. It drives them crazy and this makes me laugh.  But often, I can anticipate exactly what the person is saying based on the title of their video. So I don't need to put that pus into my head and carry that around all day. I want a healthy mental environment in my head. You know? So Meghan and Harry hopefully do the same thing to protect their mental health.

2. Take good care of their physical health.

It is impossible to withstand mental pressures if you are physically unhealthy, or physically weak. Meg likes to do her yoga. But she also needs to do some light weights. You know? Five-pound dumbells, things like that. And cardio, of course. And Harry needs to do the same. I have heard that they have a gym in their home. They hopefully use it regularly. Hopefully maybe they even have a personal trainer. Because you have to be strong with this. You can't hold it in and pretend to be strong. You have to be really strong. Otherwise one day, there will be a collapse.

3. Getaway more for little holidays that the media is not privy to

I am sure that Harry and Meghan do take many little holidays. When I lived in France, taking little holidays was commonplace. I love that about the French. Their penchant for little holidays really inspired me to do the same. They are in California, so they can go to many places for the weekend. Malibu, San Francisco, Napa, etc. But they are also close to other parts of the country that could be interesting and relaxing, and outside the glare of the media. But they should not rule out international getaways, even if on a private jet. This is very important for them to get away often, just them and their little family. Traveling is really important for the soul.

4.  Eat well

Meghan is a great cook so she does not have to be inspired here. She is the inspiration here. But sometimes when people get so busy and so caught up in stuff (and with all these negativities) the very things you used to love are not so enjoyable because you allow life to get in the way. Hopefully, Meg will not let this happen. She still cooks for her family and she still enjoys it and she still remains present while cooking so that she is not cooking and worrying about this stuff. She is cooking and she is present with her private life and her family. Harry, of course, can help. It is romantic.  It brings them even closer together.

5. Go from success to success

While people rant and rave and throw rocks, just keep their heads down and keep doing good works. They are doing very well in this regard. And it sounds like they are doing even more behind the scenes if the rumors of their Napa Winery are true. And they always give back so I don't have to remind them about that. As they succeed more and more they help more and more people through their foundation. It will give them such a profound sense of satisfaction.

6. Avoid bad habits at all costs

Sometimes when people are stressed, they can't sleep and they have all sorts of other issues so they take things to help them cope. This is human. But it is a trap. I hope they both avoid that trap at all costs. I never want to hear about them being in rehab and any nonsense like that. 

7. Get the right headspace

Happiness is all in the head. Largely, it is a choice and a decision. You decide to be happy. Fullstop. Choose your thoughts. Choose your battles. Focus your energies on the things you want to amplify. Tune out the rest. It's as simple as that.

8. Remain open to reconciling with their families, but don't allow them to disrespect you

In the end, your family is your family. I understand only too well about difficulties in families.  Being the bigger person is hard. Always having to be the one to extend the olive branch and getting rejected is hard. I do not advocate that they betray their own right to be happy by forcing a relationship with "family" members who may be hellbent on being an enemy. But, just be open in their own hearts. Try not to let the hate be mutual....

Will any of these make them any "happier"? Maybe they are already doing all these things. I hope so. I really, really hope so.

Images courtesy of Flickr creative commons

Harry and Meghan at the altar | Ben Sutherland | Flickr

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